WE tv - High School Confidential

Episode 02

"Courtney"

Monday, March 17 at 10|9c

From the Expert The Expert: Roni Cohen-Sandler, Ph.D.,

Roni Cohen-Sandler is a clinical psychologist in private practice specializing in parenting; the issues of women and adolescent girls, mother-daughter relationships; and neuropsychological assessments (e.g., for learning difficulties, attention disorders, etc.).

If you or anyone you know are considering suicide, call 911 or these hotlines:

1-800-SUICIDE
1-800-273-TALK

What are the signs of depression in teens?

It is often difficult for parents to tell the difference between moodiness, which is fairly common among teens, and more prolonged feelings of sadness, despair, hopelessness, and helplessness that may indicate clinical depression. While adult depression is often associated with sleeping and eating disturbances, lethargy, and withdrawal, teens may be restless and irritable, unable to concentrate, indecisive, and as hyper-social as they are isolated.

Negativity, feelings of worthlessness, and persisting fatigue are not uncommon. Teens may lose or gain weight, sleep more or less than usual, and complain that they simply "don't care anymore." Feelings of not being understood, sulking, reluctance to cooperate in family plans, and refusing to leave their bedrooms are frequent symptoms. In some cases, morbid or suicidal thoughts occur. Teens who suddenly give away their prize possessions or say goodbyes are sending red flags for possible self-destructive behavior. Adolescents also may express macabre or suicidal ideas in their creative writing, diaries, or drawings. Many, if left untreated, begin to self-medicate with alcohol and/or drugs. School difficulties are extremely common. According to the clinical literature, teenage girls are about five to seven times more likely than boys to develop depression.

What first steps should be taken if you suspect your teenager is depressed?

As always, the first step is speaking directly to your teen. Ask if she is feeling discouraged, apathetic, sad, or bad about herself. Share your observations of her change in mood, attitude, and behavior. Encourage her to talk about her real feelings, whatever they are, without judging or trying to talk her out of them (e.g., "You shouldn't feel that way; you should be happy that..."). If in doubt about whether girls are truly depressed, parents should ask school guidance counselors for feedback on how they are doing in school and whether teachers have noticed any changes in their concentration, performance, appearance, or behavior. The best course of action, however, is to consult a mental health professional who can make a thorough, individual assessment of whether a teen is truly depressed.

Is there something that can be done to avoid depression?

Although depression tends to run in families, it doesn't mean your teen or her siblings will definitely develop the disorder. It's probably helpful to be aware of an increased familial risk so you can be on the alert for early symptoms. As always, it is crucial to maintain a close, trusting relationship with your daughter that will encourage her to express whatever feelings she has—good or bad—rather than bottling them up. With your love and support, your teen is best able to face whatever problems she has in order to develop good coping and problem-solving skills. Girls today are often becoming depressed when stressed-out by unrealistic expectations and pressures for success. Chronic feelings of being overwhelmed by never-ending work and exhausting commitments leads to girls believing they are—and never will be—good enough. So parents need to monitor the level of pressure their daughters are experiencing, support them in setting reasonable goals, and make sure they get plenty of rest and down time. Fortunately, depression is highly treatable.

If a teenager has a friend they think is having suicidal thoughts, what should she do?

This is one situation when teenage girls must put the health and well-being of their friend ahead of their typical, loyal promises to keep secrets. If there is any suspicion a girl may be at risk for suicidal behavior, friends have to act fast. First take her to a school guidance counselor or school psychologist, professionals who are trained to deal with potential crises. If a friend refuses to see school personnel, girls should see a parent, trusted teacher, or guidance counselor on their own to get advice on handling this serious problem. Teens who have friends who are depressed and/or suicidal are often preoccupied and weighed down by their concerns; they need adults with more experience to help shoulder this burden and get their friends whatever assistance they need. If your daughter is afraid her friend will get angry at her if she divulges her problems, she should know that when suicidal people get treatment and feel better they are invariably grateful for such expressions of love and support. It is no exaggeration to say that telling someone about a friend's suicidal thoughts can save her life.

For more information on depression and suicide:

The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)
Suicide Fact Sheet

Additional Resources

Teen Depression
A comprehensive site for troubled teens, and parents of teens, about the warning signs, and various treatment options available for depression.
http://www.teendepression.org/

DepressedTeens.com
An educational site offering help to teenagers and their parents to understand the signs and symptoms of teenage depression, and resources for those looking for help.
http://www.bpkids.org/site/PageServer?pagename=index

AboutTeenDepression.com
From the difficulties in diagnosing teen depression, to adolescent depression symptoms, treatment options, and teenage depression statistics, this site has answers for both teens and their parents.
http://www.about-teen-depression.com/

Why do some adolescents drink?

Underage drinking is not only more prevalent today, but also occurs earlier. The average age at which kids take their first drink is 12. By age 14, one in three teens has tried alcohol.

Each month, 25% of eighth graders drink, and 100,000 teens engage in binge drinking. For the first time, the rate at which teen girls are starting to drink equals or surpasses that of boys. Teen girls are targeted more often by magazine ads for alcohol and also are more susceptible than boys to the influence of friends who drink. In general, teen girls are tempted to drink to appear cool, feel grown up, act rebellious, and decrease self-consciousness and anxiety in social situations. Alcohol relaxes girls who worry about their looks or how well they fit in with peers. So teen girls who lack self-confidence and social acceptance are especially vulnerable to the temptations of underage drinking.

What are the risks of underage drinking?

Because the adolescent brain is still developing, alcohol is metabolized differently in teens than adults. Not only do teens get drunk faster, but also alcohol damages the teen brain’s ability to function. The consequences can be devastating and long-term. Studies show that teens with Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) are less able to learn new skills. Their problem-solving, verbal and nonverbal retrieval, visuospatial skills, and working memory are impaired. Plus, because alcohol decreases inhibition, teens who drink are likely to use poor judgment and self-control, increasing the prevalence of accidents, risk-taking behavior, and sexual assaults. The younger the age when drinking begins, the greater the chance of teens becoming addicted to alcohol. In fact, about 40% of children who begin drinking before age 15 will become alcoholics at some point in their lives. Those who wait until age 21 are four times less likely to develop an addiction to alcohol.

What is the correlation between underage drinking and premarital sex?

Because alcohol impairs judgment and self-control, teens who drink are far more vulnerable to engaging in unplanned, unwanted, and risky sexual behaviors, including having unprotected sex and multiple sexual partners. Studies have shown, in fact, that cheap beer is associated with an increase in sexually transmitted diseases. It is estimated that about half of nonconsensual sexual interactions are alcohol-related. After binge drinking, teen girls may not remember their sexual activities; if they do recall sexual activities, they are often regretful. Attending unsupervised parties where alcohol is served increases the opportunity for early and risky sexual encounters.

What can parents do to prevent their teens from abusing alcohol?

Fortunately, there is plenty parents can do to decrease the chance of teens abusing alcohol. Since the average age of a first drink is 12, parents need to start talking to children when they are young about the dangers of alcohol use. It is also important that parents discuss the temptations that their children will likely experience—as well as effective strategies for resisting them. Parents should communicate clearly and directly their beliefs about when drinking is appropriate for their children. Family rules should be spelled out. Alcohol-free social activities such as dinners and dances should be sponsored in the community. Parents can encourage their children to host social gatherings by providing a safe, fun environment in their own homes. It is crucial, however, for parents to supervise the goings-on to insure that teens and their friends adhere to house rules. When young teens are invited to other homes, parents should call ahead to confirm that parents will be providing such supervision. Once teens are old enough to drive, there should be a zero-tolerance policy for drinking and driving, including riding in the car of an individual who has had any alcohol. Parents also need to model responsible alcohol use—that is, moderate drinking and avoidance of alcohol to manage stress. Finally, to prevent tragedies parents should establish with their teens a safety procedure such as the opportunity to call home at any time to ask for help—with no questions asked and no punishments imposed.

How can a teenager help a friend who has a drinking problem?

Teenagers who see their friends binge drinking, experiencing blackouts, and engaging in high-risk behaviors may be tempted to think such occurrences are within the norm. It is hard for adolescents to know when experimentation crosses the line into problem drinking. That is why it is important for parents to speak with their teens about red flags for alcohol abuse. Just as crucial, because such worries can burden and even overwhelm teens, they should be encouraged to speak to a trusted adult as soon as possible. Along with teachers, school counselors, religious leaders, coaches, and mentors, parents should convey that they are always available to discuss their children’s concerns about their friends without being judgmental. While teens may be reluctant to betray secrets about peers for fear of being disloyal, they need to understand that the opportunity to prevent a tragedy or save a life justifies divulging this important information.

For more information:
The National Council on Alcohol and Drug Dependency at: www.ncadd.org
The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism at: www.niaaa.nih.gov or
http://alcoholism.about.com/od/teens/Teens_and_Substance_Abuse.htm